Ok friends — we’ve talked long and hard about VC recruiting. In Part 1 of my series, we learned how to set the groundwork for VC recruiting and in Part 2, we talked about applying & interviewing. We now know what the full continuum of VC recruiting looks like. For your reference, here’s my VC recruiting framework one last time:
What I’m going to talk about today is a little more abstract and personal but I’d argue is the most important section of my series. For all the advice I can give you and the tips & tricks you can hear from others — the job can stay wildly elusive. Nothing is given in venture capital, and the space doesn’t care whether you deserve the role or not. The hardest part about VC recruiting for me wasn’t doing the job before having the job, building a sourcing pipeline, creating market perspectives, or networking. The hardest part about VC recruiting was all the rejections. And I mean, SO MANY rejections. It didn’t seem to matter at times how hard I tried…I kept getting rejected.
I remember telling my parents at one point: “I’ve gotten rejected from everything and I’m a failure”. I was so demotivated all I could see were those rejections. My dad responded, “But Tanvi, how can you say you’re a failure? There’s so much more to life besides just the job. What about staying in good health, or being a good person? Why are you only focused on the rejections?” He was so right and PS I love you Dad.
When you recruit for an area as competitive and all-consuming as venture, it’s tough to separate your sense of worth from the outcome of these interviews. Or at least it was for me. Unfortunately, the worse you feel about yourself, the worse you show up to interviews. Remember what I said last week about your overall vibe being important? This is where I was falling short. I was deflated, demoralized, stressed out, and mentally exhausted…and it showed.
I had 7 or 8 cases of what I call the professional friendzone (The work-zone? The colleague-zone? Open to ideas). Funds would reject me, but with the kindest emails. “Hi Tanvi — we think you’re a great candidate and are impressed by your achievements but are going with other candidates at this time” or “Hi Tanvi — this was a tough decision for us but we are passing on your candidacy at this time”. I remember reading and re-reading these emails before I realized “OMG, I’m literally getting friendzoned right now”. Sure, I appreciated the kind emails and the fact that they got back to me at all but felt so frustrated. In about 50% of these cases, I got clear feedback on why they passed on me. I can’t thank those folks enough and will always be grateful to them (you know who you are!). The other 50% drove me absolutely crazy. I was so close! Why hadn’t I closed that offer? The professional friendzone sucks, and I wish I had any actionable advice here but you just have to feel your feelings and move on.
Rejections are, after all, part of life. Finding a way to intentionally manage rejections (whether they be ghosting or professional friendzoning) is important. Your morale and mental strength are integral parts of a successful VC recruiting process. So what got me out of that funk? Here’s what I would say if you’re currently in the middle of the recruiting process or going to get into it:
- Set holistic life goals for yourself: while you’re recruiting, set non-work goals for yourself like working out, starting a new hobby, taking a little vacation, etc. Define success in this section of your life in relation to all of those goals, and not just getting the job. I wish I had done this instead of looking at success as just getting the job.
- Take a little time out to figure out money: financial security is incredibly important. If you’re recruiting post-MBA or recruiting without an income, there’s no shame in moving back home to save on rent or asking your support system for help when you’re knee-deep in the grind. If feasible and helpful, try to take up another job while continuing to recruit or pick up a side hustle to make ends meet. Do what you need to take care of that part of your life and you will feel way lighter. I’m grateful for the privilege and security of having a job while I recruited for VC — it honestly made a world of a difference.
- Find a community: for how individualistic VC can feel or seem, it’s a team sport. You need support and sponsorship to get in and to succeed once you’re in. I’m so grateful for my community and would not have made it without them. In particular, I’m grateful to have made some wonderful friends through VC Unleashed. A group of us who were recruiting for VC started getting together every Friday to swap tips, share stories, and generally vent. This was an amazing source of support and hugely helpful. We’d get all the emotions off our chests with folks who got what we were going through and keep sessions productive by sharing personal advice or job postings we thought other folks would benefit from. I’d highly recommend a similar peer circle for anyone currently in the process to keep your sanity.
We can learn so much from athletes here — how do they approach their losses? How do they stay so mentally strong and overcome the disappointment? I think about the humble beginnings of most athletes and how they are focused, determined, and ambitious for years and years before they become successful. It’s truly amazing. When Argentina won the World Cup last year, my Mom sent me an essay Ángel Di María wrote in 2018. It’s beautifully written and I highly recommend you read it. He talks openly about how your feelings and life circumstances play into the success of your career. His resilience is truly inspiring.
Founders, too, are amazing examples of resilience. In addition to my peers, they understood the emotional pain I felt with the rejections because they were in the same boat. VC recruiting in so many ways mirrors fundraising — and founders had fantastic tips and advice. If you can watch the way a good founder pitches…not one who has social clout and can play a computer game while pitching (#tbt to SBF), but a genuinely underrepresented and underestimated founder who is fighting for their round to close. You’ll learn so much. I have 100x more respect for founders after going through the recruiting process. Melanie Perkins got rejected by over 100 VCs and look at where Canva is today. I reminded myself of her story when I felt down…that girl did NOT give up, and neither could I.
Ultimately I realized I needed to find joy and be happy about my life without the venture job. It took me a long time but once I started to give myself grace to not be exactly where I wanted to be just yet, I felt better. I started showing up to interviews more confident because I knew the alternate was just going back to my regular old life, which wasn’t a bad life at all. I know it’s not the same case for everyone. But I hope if you’re in a similar funk that you find some beauty and happiness in where your life currently is.
Some closing thoughts on VC recruiting:
- Your recruiting process is how you train for the job: nobody trains you for this job…you need to train yourself. All the work you do during recruiting sets you up to succeed as an investor. Take this approach to your recruiting process and try to learn something from every interview process and every conversation. Ask for feedback with every rejection you get — you’ll be surprised how many folks do send some thoughts over especially when it’s later in the process. Try to understand how you could have approached investments differently or how your interviewers thought about their investments. With this mentality, I got fantastic feedback which has made me a better investor.
Recruiting was also a great way for me to build my network and get to know people. Even after the rejections, I made it a point to stay in touch with those I had good conversations with, and am happy to count them among my current mentors. - Respect and support your peers: venture is an information game — and unfortunately, some folks are information takers who never reciprocate. Don’t be that person. If someone shares an open role or helpful insight with you, make sure you support them in return. I have felt multiple times like I’ve gone out of my way to help someone and they haven’t tried at all to help me back. Slowly, I just stopped trying to help them and made a mental note of what this showed me. For example, I connected a friend with a VC that was hiring and found out through their LinkedIn post that they got the job. Forget supporting me, this person never even updated me or thanked me for that connection. I saw very clearly at that moment who they were and unfortunately, this is an impression I’ll always carry going forward.
We have to support each other and make it together. It’s important to be intentional about the brand you build — and of course, be a good person and a good friend! - Position your differences as a strength: there is no “typical” VC background. Period. Every background and every type of life experience has its place in VC. There are some backgrounds that are better set up for success, and if you don’t fit that mold you need to communicate your value in a way that resonates. This is an important point — it’s not the background that stops you from getting your job but rather the way you talk about it. If you have a non-traditional role, spend time thinking about how you communicate your skills and experiences in a way that resonates with funds.
- It’s so much harder to recruit for these roles as a woman and/or person of color: venture capital is a sponsorship and network-based business. Investors unconsciously look for themselves in the candidates they want to hire, and when you’re not white or when you’re not a man it’s much harder. I had one conversation (JUST ONE) with another Indian woman and was so floored at how quickly we built a rapport and how open she was with giving me a chance. Is this supposed to be that easy? I remember thinking after that call. Yeap, it is. This is the unfortunate trap you fall into when most of the Partners you speak to don’t look like you. Just know that this is changing, and you’re not crazy for thinking this impacts your ability to land a role!
- Bet on yourself, always: you have to believe in yourself to land the role. If you don’t — nobody will. People will tell you you’re not cut out to be an investor or say you should instead do X, Y, Z…take it all with a grain of salt, and don’t let it deter you from your goal. Bet on yourself every day and especially when the going gets tough. It’s the first of many bets you’ll make as an investor :)
I really can’t stress that last point enough: bet on yourself. It’s by far the most important one. Stay strong and keep at it. I’m wishing you all the best in your journey — good luck!!
Thoughts or feedback? Please comment & reshare! If you enjoyed this post or found it helpful, don’t forget to follow me on Twitter & LinkedIn!
Some of my favorite VC recruiting resources: VC Unleashed, Mike Devlin’s content, Nicole DeTommaso’s Twitter, and Rebel One’s Training Curriculum
